Enemy Territory
by messy-haired-marauder
Summary: Lily Evans is in love with James Potter. Only thing is he's moved on, and has a girlfriend. After a monumental game of truth or dare, old feelings resurface. Jily oneshot. Written with my fab friend Emily!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Surprise, surprise, I still don't own Harry Potter. That's JK Rowling's baby. I also didn't draw the cover image, but I couldn't find the source! Sorry if it's yours!**

**Other than that, please read and relax! I really enjoyed working on this one and I hope you enjoy it! Reviews are much appreciated. **

He was playing with her hair again. Twirling the gleaming strands around his fingers. Suddenly they both burst out laughing, and he kissed her little button nose.

Lily was clutching a piece of parchment - a draft of her Charms essay - her grip slowly tightening as it shrunk into a crumpled ball in her hands. Her mouth was a thin line, and she was breathing heavily through her nostrils, as James and his girlfriend of six months continued in their "oh so adorable" manner.

'No! Get yourself together Evans!' she reprimanded herself. 'You are being completely unfair Evans! James is your _friend! _You have no claim over him! Who turned him down? You did, you fucking idiot, and this is the result. Oh shit, he's spotted me, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, control yourself you dolt!"

"Hi James!" she exclaimed, pasting a smile on her face. "Jess! Hey!" her voice made an embarrassing crack on the "Hey!".

"Hi!" they chimed together, hands entwined. Lily had to suppress the urge to pull a face.

"We were just going to the library to do some homework, if you want to join us," James suggested.

"Oh yes, please do! You know how hard it is to get this one to focus!" Jess laughed, pressing her body to his as she teasingly hit his chest. Lily tried to contain her shudder. God, he looked so infatuated.

"That's okay, I'm tutoring this afternoon anyway."

Lily thought she registered some disappointment on his face, and her stomach gave a jolt of satisfaction, which she should have felt terrible for.

"I thought tutoring was on Wednesdays?" James asked, suspicion replacing the possible disappointment.

"Bit obsessed with my schedule, aren't we Potter?" she taunted him, trying to make up an explanation; no way was she going to willingly submit herself to the sick-fest that was any interaction between James and his girlfriend "They have their test tomorrow, so we're having an extra session."

"That's so sweet of you!" Jess exclaimed. Lily could practically see the sun shining out of her arse. James looked unconvinced.

"Alright, see ya!" Lily called, rushing off.

"Oi, Evans!" he caught her shoulder.

"What?"

"You don't have tutoring."

"Yes I-" the look on his face silenced him,

"Okay, fine, I don't have tutoring. I do, however, have a very long charms essay, a whole new patrols roster to somehow conjure up, plus a Slug Club meeting and a whole lot of things to do before Sirius' party, which is in less than twenty four hours, so, I'm sorry, Potter, but I can't go to the library with you and your girlfriend, okay?"

Gosh, where had _that_ come from?

"Okay..." James said awkwardly, hands buried in his pockets.

"Sorry. S'pose I'm just a bit stressed is all." Lies. This was pure, unadulterated jealousy, with a healthy sprinkling of resentment, and just a hint of horniness.

"Alright..." he replied, still looking a bit uneasy.

The silence hung uncomfortably between them for a moment.

"Um... I should probably get back to Jess." James gestured half-heartedly back to his patiently waiting girlfriend. Oh, just go buff your freaking halo or something! God, no one is that happy to wait!

Lily tried to hide her own disappointment as she nodded.

"See ya," she tried to smile.

"Later Evans!" he grinned at her, before spinning on his heel and practically jogging back to the waiting Jess. God, she hated that he was so eager.

With a final, somewhat wistful sigh, she turned and disappeared into the dark corridor.

**NEW SCENE** **NEW SCENE NEW SCENE**

"Where _is _Prongs?" Sirius pouted, looking forlornly around his party.

"It's only been an hour, and you're making us stay awake until morning. I'm sure he'll show up soon!" Lily placated him.

He looked at her with big puppy eyes.

"Fine, I'll go find him. But only because it's your birthday."

He grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Can I at least have the map?"

The boys had introduced her to the wonders of their invention towards the end of sixth year.

"It's in the top drawer of my dresser," he told her, before joining his increasingly drunk party guests.

Lily made her way up to the boy's dormitory - she'd really been spending too much time up there since she'd gotten closer to the Marauders last year - and easily found the piece of parchment.

She located his dot rather quickly, as most of the students were in their common rooms at this hour. He was in a broom cupboard. With Jess.

'You've got to be kidding me,' she thought, continuing to stare at the two disturbingly close dots, hoping that they would somehow change. "Oh for fuck's sake."

"Sirius!" she yelled as she descended into the common room.

"Yes, flower?" he teased when he found her, a neon pink boa around his neck.

"Look where your precious Prongs is. And more importantly, whom he is with."

"Hehe, whom! You're so posh, Evans!" he giggled with a flick of the boa.

"Focus, you drunk twat! James is with Jess… in a broom cupboard… in the middle of the night." She thought she'd take it slowly, due to the birthday boy's intoxicated state.

"That's my boy!"

"Sirius, be serious," she held up her hand before he could comment, "Aren't you just a tad miffed that James is spending _your_ birthday making out," she hoped, "with his girlfriend, instead of spending it celebrating the gift that is your birth?"

Sirius frowned in contemplation for a moment.

"I guess. It's okay though, you're going to go get him, aren't you?"

"You still want me to- oh you are _so_ lucky that it's your birthday!" she scoffed.

Lily stormed through the portrait hole and into the castle, contemplating just how much her mood was now ruined. She couldn't even resent Jess for snogging (please just be snogging) James, she was dating him after all. The girl was lovely; both outwardly and inwardly, and she had every right to be with James. Lily was simply jealous, and she hated herself for it.

'Way to be mature, Evans. Good thing _you're_ head girl.'

God, why did she have to be so fucking perfect? Jess with her big brown eyes, and bloomin' perfect brown curls, and her perfectly freckle-less alabaster skin. Plus she was a fucking Hufflepuff, so she was automatically the embodiment of sugar and spice and everything nice. Ugh! Screw you James for having good taste in girls!

She neared her destination and, fuelled by the rage that had sprung up from somewhere deep within her, didn't hesitate for a second before ripping the creaky old door open, exposing the half undressed figures of James and Jess caught in a passionate embrace.

"James Potter, what the fuck do you think you're doing, snogging your girlfriend in a broom cupboard whilst your best friend, I repeat, _best friend_, is spending his seventeenth birthday wondering where you are? How selfish can you be? I honestly thought you'd matured enough to control your hormones, but you have yet again proven me wrong. Now button up your shirt, and if you're not in the common room with a drink in your hand and a _very_ well crafted apology within ten minutes, there will be dire consequences."

"Lily-"

"_Dire_ consequences."

With that final remark, she turned their back to them, hair doing a very satisfying flip - of which she was admittedly very proud - and started back to the common room at a furious pace. The clipping of her heels against the stone floor echoed down the corridor.

"What the hell was that?!" James puffed when he fell in next to her, still buttoning his shirt. Not that Lily noticed, of course.

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Why'd you blow up at me like that?"

She stopped in her tracks, crossed her arms and did the little neck thing that James knew meant he was about to be in a cauldron full of trouble.

"Because, firstly, as I said, I think it is very rude, inconsiderate, and quite frankly mean to not be there for your supposed best friend on his birthday. Secondly, I do not relish being given the task to come and find you and your girlfriend in who-knew-what state, when I could have been enjoying the birthday of one of my friends. So basically James, I'm sick of having to act like your mother because you can't seem to grow up!"

"Holy shit, that's it! What the fuck has been going on with you lately? You've been blowing up at me at the drop of a sickle; you're always making excuses when I ask you to hang out! I don't know what I've done, but I'm tired of this, Lily! I'm sorry that you feel I'm so selfish and immature, but, quite frankly, I am done trying to prove myself to you! So you can just sod off!"

He turned his back to her and purposefully marched off in the direction of the common room. Lily thought she might cry. She couldn't let this interfere with her relationship with James. She just couldn't. She had to get a grip of herself. Surely these feelings would pass eventually? She'd just have to keep up the façade until then.

"James, no, wait! Please? I'm sorry! You're right, I _have _been a bitch lately. I don't know why. I guess I've just been going through some stuff, and I've been taking out my frustrations on you."

His face softened as he took her in, her demeanour small and vulnerable. He couldn't very well stay angry at her _now_. Bloomin' Evans.

"Well, we all go through rough patches sometimes. Even the miraculous Lily Evans!"

She looked up at him with hopeful but wary green eyes, looking to decipher how he was feeling. Seeing her hesitation, he grinned at her.

'Come here."

She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest, gratefulness bubbling up inside her.

"Thank you," came her voice, muffled by his shirt.

"There's really nothing to say thank you for!"

"Just for being so understanding."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"I haven't been a very good friend to you lately."

"You've been fine! Apart from the occasional, _I_ believe uncalled for, reprimand, that is."

"I promise I'll stop snapping at you! Really I will! You know how my temper can be!"

"That I do," he broke their hug, and put his hands on her shoulders, looking her soundly in the eye when he asked, "Seriously though, is everything okay, Lil?"

"It will be." Lily felt more at ease than she had in months; they were being friends, and she was handling it just fine! Maybe the end was finally in sight. Maybe she _would_ get over this.

"Promise?" he asked, a playful lilt to his voice.

She nodded.

"Right then, shall we return to Sirius' birthday bash?" James suggested.

"Did you just say birthday bash?"

"And you say _I'm_ the immature one!"

"Mankini."

James blushed, and looked to be in pain as he tried to contain his man giggles.

"I rest my case. Now, let's go before Sirius drinks all the Firewhiskey."

**NEW SCENE** **NEW SCENE NEW SCENE**

Sirius' party had all but died out. Only the Gryffindor seventh years remained, as Sirius had insisted that they all spend the night in the common room.

It was around one in the morning when someone had the bright idea to play truth or dare. Everyone rolled their eyes, and secretly revelled in the cliché. They were sat in a large circle by the dying embers. After Sirius returned from his naked romp in the castle grounds - although the boa did not leave his person - it was James' turn.

"So… Prongsie," Black slurred, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, obviously," Lily chimed in.

"I am touched, Evans."

"Right…" Sirius began, an evil glint in his eye, "Just as a nod to old times… and old crushes… kiss Evans."

James rolled his eyes with a playful grin, as Lily felt herself grow pale. She couldn't very well say no; that would raise far too much suspicion. But at the same time, what would happen if she kissed him? Images of disaster flashed before her eyes.

"What about Jess?" Lily scrambled, in a desperate attempt to avoid the situation

"She'll be fine! It's just a game, after all!" James assured her. The words stung more than she cared to admit.

"You have to do what the birthday boy says!" Sirius whined like a five year old.

She sighed and turned to face James, resigning herself to her fate. Holy shit, his cheekbones looked good in this light. He gave her an apologetic smile, and placed a quick peck to her lips.

They pulled back as if the kiss had stung, and stared at each other with wide eyes. The room seemed to buzz. Lily felt like she couldn't breath.

Suddenly, they lunged at each other, hands grabbing and mouths bruising. Lips and tongues attacked each other and hands tugged at clothing, desperate to get closer, to fill the need that had exploded inside them. It was absolute heaven; uncontrolled, frantic, all consuming heaven. Lily couldn't think as her hands raked through his hair and his tongue explored her mouth.

Lily's head to hit the edge of the fireplace as they unconsciously lay down. The spell was broken as they detached and stared at each other with unfocused eyes, chests heaving against the other's.

A fog seemed to lift as Lily took in her surroundings. Their fellow students were staring at them with horrified faces. Slowly, the pieces came together as she looked down at James' equally flabbergasted expression.

Numb, she felt herself get up, look around once more and promptly flee through the portrait hole.

"Lily!" she heard James call, but merely sped up.

"Lily, please wait!" he called again as she rounded a corner.

"Lily, stop!" he bellowed. She sunk down against the wall, all the fight draining out of her as involuntary tears slid down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry!" she began, as he finally caught up to her. "I know you're with Jess and- I'm just so sorry!" He sat down next to her and put a comforting arm over her shoulders, "I can't believe I did that! I just completely lost control! I-"

"Oh gosh! Lily, don't cry! I was there too! It was both of us, Lils."

Lily was barely listening. His sudden closeness causing a quick intake of breath.

Her eyes were locked onto his lips - soft and warm and _such_ a nice shape. They were all she could focus on. Plus the memory of just how _fucking amazing _they felt on hers was still _very_ fresh and _very_ vivid in her mind.

Not quite knowing how it happened, Lily found herself latched firmly onto his mouth, arms encircling his neck. He was unresponsive for a moment, then he melted against her in a much sweeter, less desperate kiss. Her hands tangled in the soft hair at the base of his neck, and his hands grazed her sides as he pulled her closer. Lily let out a sigh of contentment. She was sitting on his lap now, effectively straddling him, whilst James leaned against the wall and caressed her mouth. His hand were infinitely gentle as he cradled her face. James broke the kiss, and began working on her neck. Lily thought she might die, it felt so good. She couldn't begin to imagine it ending when, abruptly, it did.

"I can't do this," James said in a weary voice, not meeting her eyes.

Lily blinked at his face in confusion, as she sunk down from the high. Why on earth couldn't he do something that felt so right, and safe, and wonderful- Jess. The image of the pretty brunette swam before her and a cold realisation settled over her, contrasted nicely by the hot panic that was colouring her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry! I just, my god, I've been so stupid! I can't believe I did that again! It's just- I just can't stop thinking about you, and your laugh, and your _terrible_ jokes, and holy fuck your hair, and the little crinkles that appear at the corners of your eyes whenever you smile, which is _all_ the time because you _always_ want to brighten someone else's day. And how loyal you are, and how you always try so hard to do the right thing, and how you can't stand injustice, and every time you hug me I'm giddy for hours afterwards. And you're so smart James, and you're so annoying, but you always make me laugh, and you just get me, and I feel so safe with you - I know you'd never hurt me. Not to mention how fucking sexy you are, and you don't even do it on purpose! Well, most of the time. You're the only reason I find Quidditch interesting now, and you're so adorable when you get all worked up about it! Plus you're such an amazing head boy, and I love getting to spend that extra time with you, and you're one of my best friends, and I can't stand the thought of losing you, but whenever I see you with Jess, I just want to stab someone because I'm _so_ jealous."

"Lily, it sounds like you're saying that-"

"I'm saying that I am catastrophically in love with you, you dolt! And I can't deny it anymore. It's exhausting, and it's making me go mad."

"Oh, bloody hell Evans!" he shot up. Lily scrambled to regain her balance as she slid off of him. His face look conflicted… betrayed somehow. His lips were pursed, his jaw clenched; he looked like he was either going to burst into tears or burst from frustration. "This is just amazing timing! How could you say that? _Why_ would you say that? You can't just run around telling me that you're in love with me! You know very well I can't just break up with Jess!"

"I know! That's why I've been trying so hard to keep it bottled up!" Lily began to sob, "I'm so sorry! I know it's _completely_ unfair! But you just needed to know, or I needed to tell you, or something! But I can't pretend that you're just a friend anymore James! I've probably ruined everything, and you probably - understandably - never want to see me again, but I'm sorry, I just can't make myself deny it anymore."

She wiped the tears from her face with indignation.

'Women up Evans!'

He collapsed next to her with a defeated sigh, not angry, persay. He sort of had a vague idea about how she was feeling.

"I can't say I haven't suspected; you've been acting so strangely lately. I told myself I was crazy."

"I think we both know who the crazy one is around here."

"And your resistance to being within a hundred meters of Jess is sure making a helluva lot more sense now," a look of comprehension dawned on his face, "Is _this_ why you were so upset earlier when you had to come find us?"

"Yeah, well…" They were silent for a moment, both contemplating.

"So that's out there now," she buried her head in her hands in frustration, "I've tried so hard to stop it, honestly I have. But I just couldn't. I'm so sorry. I hate myself for putting you in this situation. I don't want it anymore than you do."

He gave her a long look, then let out a weighty sigh.

"I don't know what to do. You're one of my best friends too, Lil, and I just don't know what to think now." She couldn't bear to hear the pain in his voice. The pain that she had put there.

"Just forget it. I should never have told you. "

"Lily..."

"You have something with Jess, James. Anyone can see that, and even I have to admit that you're good together. I can't be the one to ruin that. God, listen to me, just assuming that this is making you rethink everything. You've moved on from me, and I'll just have to do the same thing."

He finally met her eye, and all she could see was the pity.

"Just go James," she spat, defensive all of a sudden.

He looked like he was going to say something, he even drew a breath to fuel the action. But he hesitated at the last moment, expelled the breath, and instead placed a kiss on her forehead. She hated how good it felt.

"I'm so sorry," he told her.

James got up and walked away, leaving Lily alone in the moon-lit corridor.


	2. Chapter 2

It was as if James had entered some sort of alternate universe. Had Lily Evans -Lily stinkin' Evans- really just admitted that she has feelings for him? Had that really just happened?

And that kiss…

Goodness, his head spun just thinking about it.

And he was certainly having trouble _not_ thinking about it as he hurried back to the common room.

Merlin it had been hard to leave her there. Oh, who was he kidding? The very possibility of turning back was still plaguing him. The temptation to go back and, not even snog her, just hold her. Hold her and inhale her sweet scent, rest his chin on her ridiculously smooth hair, feel her petite frame pressed tight against his, both of them simultaneously protecting and protected.

'Stop it you twat!' he reprimanded himself. 'You have Jess now. You moved on from this two years ago!'

It didn't feel like that though. All the feelings he'd been convinced were gone for good were rushing back. And that wasn't helped by the fact that he actually knew her now. That they'd had long, deep conversations, collected more inside jokes than he could keep track of, become a killer team at that muggle money game with the little green and red buildings. They knew each other, he felt, as well as a person can know someone else. For fucks sake, she was one of his best friends! Although how they could continue to be that he wasn't sure.

'But, surely, it was just the hormones and alcohol talking? Surely these feelings will be gone in the morning when we've had time to calm down,' James thought to himself whilst simultaneously remembering the traitorous butterflies that had appeared in his stomach when she'd said all those things, and tried to shake the memory of that stupid, irresponsible, heart-stoppingly amazing kiss.

'How can someone's lips even feel so good? I mean, Jess is a fantastic kisser, but Lily...'

He felt a not unpleasant contraction in his chest as her sighs of his name echoed in his ears. He'd felt the same plucking, the same warming rush of affection when she'd actually breathed out the words.

'Oh, this is bad. This is really very, very bad. You, sir, are _not_ in love with Lily Evans. You are in love with your hot, sweet, loving girlfriend whom you _are_ crazy about.'

James' pep talk to himself ended just as he reached the portrait hole, only to discover that pretty much all of the party-goers had passed out. They were draped across each other in a manner which reminded him of an ancient greek painting. The other (presumably more sober ones) seemed to have made their way back to the dorms.

Somewhat relieved that he wouldn't be missed at the party, James stepped back out into the corridor and made his way to the head's dormitory, not sure whether he wanted Lily to be there or not.

The door to her bedroom was already closed, and their communal sitting area empty. James wasn't sure whether to be disappointed or relieved.

James went to bed forcing himself to picture Jess, focusing on her chocolate eyes. However there seemed to be some sort of green mould growing over the chocolate. Wait what? They were completely green now, and surrounded by freckles and- oh fuck.

**NEW SCENE** **NEW SCENE NEW SCENE**

Lily and James had fallen into a pattern of stoic and uncomfortable cordiality. They never said more than was absolutely necessary, avoided eye contact at all costs, and only spent time with their mutual friends separately.

It was agony for the both of them, but neither trusted themselves to stay in control if they were to find themselves alone, and quite frankly, neither knew how to act after 'the incident'.

James felt the absence of Lily like a physical weight on his shoulders, which seemed to get heavier as the days progressed.

He kept going to share something with her, look at her knowingly when the opportunity arose to reference one of their jokes, and then he'd remember.

Only Sirius knew what had happened after they left the common room, and that was only because he'd been the one to wake James in the middle of a rather… uh… embarrassing dream featuring Lily and the Quidditch changing rooms.

Of course he'd have a dream like that on the one night he was again sleeping in the old dorm with the boys.

All right, fine, that may not have been the first of those sorts of dreams since 'the incident'.

And it was possibly not the last either.

And they might have started to happen in his daydreams as well, and maybe, just maybe, the situation was getting a tad out of control, and, oh for fuck's sake, he really needed to get a grip! This was madness! Professor Binns level madness! This was worse than fifth year, and that hadn't exactly been a walk in the park!

It didn't help that Sirius was only encouraging the dark side of his mind, which wanted to throw all caution and chivalry to to the Whomping Willow.

"Sirius, mate, I don't know what to do," James complained to Sirius after another long day of forcing himself to ignore Lily.

"Ditch Jess, shag Evans. It's quite simple really."

"Pads, you know I can't do that. I do actually care about Jess, you know."

"It's what you want though."

"I don't know what I want."

"You won't admit what you want," Sirius retorted, and mumbled something about bloomin' Gryffindors and their morals under his breath.

"What do you have against Jess anyway?" James asked, a bit disgruntled now . She was still his girlfriend after all.

"Nothing in particular. She's fine. You two are fine. I just think you and Evans would be better," Sirius explained nonchalantly, paging through a magazine.

Sirius knew that he was undeniably prejudiced, and was fine with this. He was subtly trying to sway James. Well, as subtly as he could manage, considering that he was in fact Sirius Black.

He knew his best mate, and Jess wasn't the girl for him. There was nothing wrong with her. But there wasn't too much right either when paired with his Prongs.

And, unbeknownst to James, Sirius had been hearing the other side of the argument as well. Lily had been confiding in him ever since he had found her in an empty stairwell, cheeks glistening with tears.

"What's wrong, flower?" he'd asked her, pulling her to his chest and hugging her.

"It's- it's nothing."

"I wasn't aware that James had changed his name to Nothing. Can't believe he didn't tell me!"

"So he told you then," Lily let out with a sigh.

"In a way…" he looked a tad guilty, but snapped out of it, "That was weeks ago though. Why are you all upset now?"

"Oh, no reason."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at her, not indulging her for a second.

"My patronus changed…"

He frowned.

"To a doe, Siri."

"Oh. Oh! Christ, this is more serious than I originally anticipated."

"I was just feeling a bit hopeless, is all," Lily continued, ignoring his fretting, "I had hoped that these absolutely shitty feelings would've gone away by now.

"If it helps, I think you'd be much better for him than Jess."

"It's his choice, Siri, and he chose her."

"No he didn't."

Lily frowned, "Um, I was there at the time, and he very much _did_ choose her."

"No, his innate loyalty and inbred sense of duty and what is right chose her."

"Shut up."

"It's true, you know it is."

"He really does love her! Anyone can see that."

"Yes but he doesn't _love _her."

"You're not making this any easier, you know!" Lily was a tad exasperated now.

"Sorry."

A slightly awkward silence stretched between them.

"I just really miss him."

Sirius gave her a sympathetic look.

"At least it's almost holidays. Maybe a bit of time at home will help," Lily continued.

"Hmmm, maybe," Sirius replied, although he fiercely hoped that the whole 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' thing proved to be right on this occasion.

Unbeknownst to James, Sirius was replaying this conversation, and the ones that had followed, as the Hogwarts Express took them home. James was prattling on about quidditch, which had become the only secure thing left in his life.

As the holidays progressed, James was getting a tad annoyed at Black's continued attempts to corrupt his morals. It was hard enough already without constant encouragement!

Mrs. Potter was no help to the poor deer either. When Jess came over for dinner to meet his parents, the only thing his mother would say afterwards was "She's very pureblood, isn't she?"

She also kept asking why Lily hadn't been over these holidays. Would she be coming over any time soon? Why on earth not? Didn't she have lovely hair? Such wonderful manners! So clever! Blah blah blah, Lily, blah blah blah.

'Well mother you can date Lily if you think she's so wonderful! Pfft. How dare she tell the truth like that?'

James was getting a bit paranoid really. He could've sworn his mother and Sirius were conspiring behind his back.

The three of them were walking on eggshells whenever the subjects of Lily or Jess arose. Well, James walked on eggshells, Mrs. Potter and her adoptive son donned extra heavy winter boots with crampons and happily stomped them to smithereens.

'Gah, if only it had happened sooner! If only Jess wasn't in the picture, then Lily and I could - no! This is blasphemy you twat! Just don't go there.

**NEW SCENE** **NEW SCENE NEW SCENE**

It was shaping up to be a lazy morning in the Potter household; James had slept in, and was slowly making his way downstairs, still half lost to the world.

"Morning mum," he greeted her, dropping a kiss to her cheek.

"Morning dickhead," he shot at Sirius.

"Lily lover," Sirius acknowledged him with a courteous nod, and swiftly dodged the muffin that James had aimed at his head.

His aim was surprisingly good considering he hadn't even had his first cup of tea. Having helped himself to the aforementioned beverage, he dropped into a seat and began scanning the headlines in the Daily Prophet. None of the headlines were managing to catch the attention of his sleep addled brain.

Suddenly, one jumped out at him; "_Death Eater attacks in Cokesworth"._ James brain cleared up instantly at that, and his breath hitched. His heart began to pound in an audible rhythm.

'Lily.'

He had to go. He had to know. What if she was hurt? What if she was- what if she was dead? No, she couldn't be dead. He had to go. The world faded away as he stood up, intent on his task and a tight grip on his wand.

"James, where are you going dear? James stop, you're not even dressed! James!"

He could barely hear his mother's voice over the rush of blood in his ears as he Apparated.

He reappeared in front of the doorway of a charming, run of the mill house, in a charming, run of the mill street. However, James had no time to take in his surroundings as he frantically banged on the door.

"I'm coming! Jesus!"

Lily opened the door, perfectly unharmed, and he could breathe again. Without thinking, James crushed her to his chest, arms imprisoning her. Her own were pushed into her sides.

"Oh thank god! Oh thank god!" he murmured against her hair.

'James, what the hell?"

He ignored her.

"James, aah, I can't breathe! James!"

"Sorry!" he let her go, and took in the flush on her cheeks and the 'what the fuck?' look in her eye.

"I- I read in the Prophet that there were attacks in Cokesworth," he ruffled his hair, " and I just had to check that you were okay."

He gave her a sheepish look and her face softened, and a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"That was on the other side of town. I'm fine."

"Oh, that's… good."

Awkwardness settled over them, as they remembered their predicament.

"So… you're not wearing a shirt."

James looked down, and realised that he was in fact only clad in his pyjama pants.

"Aah, yes, sorry about that. I wasn't thinking too straight after I read the headline."

"Oh? Were you worried about me?" she teased.

"Of course I was."

His sincerity startled her for a moment.

"Wanna come in? You must be freezing." She tried to pass it off as casual, not a big deal either way, but they both knew that they were at a crossroads.

"If your parents won't mind."

A smile blossomed on her face and she practically skipped inside.

James smiled as well, and he felt lighter than he had in weeks as he followed her through the door.

"My parents and Petunia are at Vernon's house for lunch, which is probably a good thing…" Lily said, eyes scanning his bare torso. She cleared her throat, handing him a cup of tea as they sat down at the table in the warm kitchen. "It seems to be getting quite serious between them."

"This is the fat prat, right?"

She grinned. "Yep, that's Vernon."

"How'd you manage to weasel out of that one?"

"I started talking about all the homework I have to do before the end of the holidays. They never know what I'm talking about, so they just kind of took my word for it. I finished like a week ago."

"That's my girl!" James chuckled.

Lily sighed, accepting the inevitable, "I'm not though, am I? Which is why we really shouldn't be doing this."

"Lily-"

"You know I'm right, James. "

"Yeah, but, I miss you… and just the possibility that you were hurt scared me so much. I can't just go on ignoring you, Lils!"

"Well it hasn't been fun for me either, but we can't pretend that it's just business as normal!" She stood up, hands on hips, challenging.

"What do we do then?" He mimicked her body language.

"You made your choice," Lily challenged, more than a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"Don't be like that."

"How else can I be?"

He stared at her, and the look in his hazel eyes made her heart melt just a little bit.

"It, I, I think it would hurt too much being just friends, " she said slowly, cooling down somewhat.

"I never want to hurt you."

"I know. But being with you without _being_ with you would hurt too much. I'm sorry, James."

"What do we do? I can't, I _can't_ just keep avoiding you Lily."

"I hate it as well, but you said it yourself. You can't just break up with Jess."

"But I want to."

Lily's head snapped up from her mug of tea.

"You... you do?" she croaked.

"Of course I do! Ever since Sirius' birthday you're all I think about, all I dream about, all I want. I miss you so much it aches sometimes, and it feels so _wrong _avoiding you. I'm so in love with you I don't know what to do with myself! I have to force myself to smile at Jess' jokes, to kiss her, because I know it would be so much better with you. I would be so much better with you, Lily Evans. I, I love you."

Their eyes met, both pairs biting back tears at his words.

"I love you too." Lily whispered, stepping closer, fingers stroking his cheek. Their lips met and their tears mixed, and for the first time in a while neither of them felt uneasy. There was so much emotion in the kiss, so much passion. Neither of them quite knew how to handle it. They broke apart and just held each other, breathing each other in.

"My patronus changed," Lily's voice came from the crook of his neck.

Bit random, but okay.

"It, um, it matches yours now," she explained further.

He sucked in a breath "So it's a..."

"It's a.. it's a doe, yeah."

She stepped back to look him in the eye.

"So that means..." he began.

"Yeah."

"Wow."

She laughed. James soon joined her and pulled her into a hug.

"What made you change your mind?" Lily asked, needing to know.

"That headline. It scared the shit out of me, you know? The thought that anything could have happened to you… Especially when we were on such bad terms, I just couldn't keep lying to myself." Lily nodded against his chest. "Promise me we'll never be so stupid again, he continued, "I don't think I can take another round of avoiding you," he told her as they stood with her arms around his neck, and his around her waist.

"Deal," she replied, "I love you."

"I love you too, Evans."

"Are we really doing this?"

"I can't pretend to be in love with Jess anymore. It's unfair to her. I'll write and ask to see her once I get home; I think I should do it face to face. You know, explain myself."

"You'd really do that for us?"

He pushed a bit of hair out of her face, "Us is my top priority right now."

She grinned at him, and he grinned right back.

She rose up and pressed a joyous kiss to his lips.

"Sirius will be thrilled," James joked, and they both rolled their eyes.

"No turning back?" she said.

"No turning back."

He leaned in for another kiss, and finally he was her James, and she was his Lily, and nothing was stopping them.


End file.
